"The Man, The Mission, The Passion" Husband, Father, Attorney, CPA, Steward Leader, Entrepreneur, MBA, Author, Builder, HBS OPM 25 Class, Mentor, Teacher

It Won’t Go Away…. Until YOU Release It

Worrying-is-like-a-rocking-chair

All too often we want things to go away on their own, problems to just disappear, emotions to settle down, the future to become clear, the past to make sense. 

The other day I was carrying something around with me; a worry, a worry that I could do nothing about in the moment, a worry that I was inflicting upon myself, a worry that in retrospect seems silly (as they often do after they work themselves out or diminish with the perspective of time). 

I continuously redirected my mind, repeatedly made other thought choices and yet my mind kept wandering back to that emotional hell, a black hole sucking up my motivation, my positive energy.

I realized there were layers upon layers. It wasn’t just this particular situation that was pulling at my mind; it was an underlying desire for a life of continuous harmony combined with a belief that I was somehow entitled to live in a bubble of love and agreement. Both states (continuous harmony and bubble of love and agreement) are fine things to wish for BUT folks aren’t always going to do as (or when) you wish and things won’t always turn out the way you suppose. When I created an expectation that I was going to somehow have harmony and agreement in my life on an ongoing basis AND I was unwilling to release that expectation when the time came, when the expectation was not fulfilled in the instant moment, I was setting myself up for discontent and misery (Yeah, I know, sounds so BASIC when you put it into simple words but boy, oh, boy was the whirlpool strong and the emotional storm/ambush sudden! Yeah, Yeah, I know again, excuses, excuses! Argue for your excuses and they are yours!).

Misery and discontent weren’t chasing me, I was chasing them. They would not go away because I was clutching them tightly, creating them. Joy was around me; I was choosing otherwise. To most effectively release my worry, I would best start much, much earlier: dismantling the internal world view, the programing, the conditioning that created the fertile ground for the worry to take root, grow, and flourish.

Closing Quotes:

“Most of the shadows of life are caused by standing in our own sunshine.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

“When you are looking in the mirror, you are looking at the problem. But, remember, you are also looking at the solution.” – Anonymous

“As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world … as in being able to remake ourselves.” – Mahatma Gandhi

As always, I share what I most want/need to learn. – Nathan S. Collier

Going to the Places that Scare You

comfort zone

We all want safety and security. Vulnerability, uncertainty, instability, and exposure all seem very menacing. We all want to protect those near and dear to us. Yet like so many things in life, the law of unintended consequences can kick in for the greatest risk of all is to run no risk at all. In the short run perhaps we achieve a temporary sense of security, but in the long run: stagnation, decline, and eventual ruin.

We MUST advance, we MUST grow, and we MUST push back frontiers of the body, spirit, and mind. Problems must be confronted, issues dealt with, trouble faced. In short, we must go to the places that scare us, march forward into the unknown, walk onto shaky ground. When was the last time you confronted a core fear?

Closing Quotes:

The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.” Joseph Campbell, 1904-1987

“Problems do not go away. They must be worked through or else they remain, forever a barrier to the growth and development of the spirit.” – M. Scott Peck, 1936 –2005, The Road Less Traveled, p.30 

“We always have a choice, we can let the circumstances of our lives harden us and make us increasingly resentful and afraid, or we can let them soften us and make us kinder. Wisdom is always available to us but we usually block it with habitual patterns rooted in fear.” – Pema Chödrön, p. 1936

Footnote: “Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway” by Susan Jeffers is an excellent resource

As always, I share what I most want/need to learn. – Nathan S. Collier

Pause Practice: Dropping the Story Line

relaxing

I’ve got an agenda. An agenda for my life, an agenda for each day. I’m a man on a mission: things to do, places to go, people to see, things to accomplish, tasks to get done, goals for every role of my life. And I LOVE It! I’m happy with it, contented, like how (for the most part!) I’ve spent my life. 

BUT! Behold the Underlying TRUTH: 

Every now and then it is so, so very important to…. PAUSE! 

Slow down. Enjoy the moment. Step aside, off the path. Sometimes it is when something unexpected happens and throws your entire day for a loop. Sometimes it is something as simple as a rainbow, a song, a ray of sunshine, or a chance encounter. The moment opens up and offers itself to you. Take it! Take a deep breath or two or three. Pause and enter the moment. Chances are it may be the highlight of your day.

Closing Quotes:

“I will greet the Present Moment fully, I will greet it as a friend; I will welcome it as a blessing, I will experience it as a gift.” – Affirmation

“We do not remember days, we remember moments.” – Cesare Pavese, 1908 – 1950, Italian poet, novelist, literary critic

As always, I share what I most want/need to learn. – Nathan S. Collier

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