"The Man, The Mission, The Passion" Husband, Father, Attorney, CPA, Steward Leader, Entrepreneur, MBA, Author, Builder, HBS OPM 25 Class, Mentor, Teacher

Six Emotional Enemies You Let Live Rent Free in Your Head

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1) Fear: Fear is not real; it is an emotion we create in our minds based upon how we choose to interpret reality and predict outcomes (our world view). Everything you want is the other side of fear.

“The Cave You Fear to Enter Holds the Treasure You Seek” – Joseph Campbell

2) Doubt: When you doubt your power, you give power to your doubt.

“Our Doubts Are Traitors and Steal from us the good we might otherwise attempt.”-  Shakespeare, 1564-1616, Measure for Measure

3) Worry: Interest paid on troubles that may never occur.

“Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.” – Dale Carnegie

4) Indecision: Few things are as exhausting as indecision and few are as futile. We spin our wheels, going back and forth, accomplishing nothing except to wear ourselves out. The truth of the matter is if it’s that close a call, the quality of our execution probably impacts the outcome more than the decision itself.

“Do not plant your dreams in the field of indecision, where nothing ever grows but the weeds of ‘what-if’.” – Dodinsky

5) Procrastination: We usually procrastinate when we dread a task and yet by postponing it, dragging it out, we allow it to occupy space in our head, hanging around in the shadows, consuming more of our energy than simply doing the deed (which often turns out to be nowhere near as bad as we had built it up to be).

“Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task.” – William James

6) Negativity: Self-talk, that inner critic. If you don’t believe in yourself, who will? You will converse more with yourself than with anyone else in life. Become your own best friend, your own cheerleader, your own life coach. You do not have to believe in Positive Thinking; just eliminate all Negative Thinking! You may be challenged to control the thoughts that come to mind but you can certainly control the thoughts that stay in mind.

If you knew the power of your thoughts, you’d never think another negative thought again.” – Peace Pilgrim

As always, I share what I most want and need to learn. – Nathan S. Collier

Five Ways to Turn Disagreements into Diamonds

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1) Frame it as a discussion, as a search for understanding and mutually acceptable solutions; never as conflict. There is a REASON for this person’s opinion, position, or point of view. When folks feel listened to and understood, trust flows and agreements become easier to achieve. Remember: We are a product of our backgrounds and our experiences: a conservative is a liberal who has been mugged; a liberal is a conservative who has been arrested.

2) Disagree without making the other person wrong (or worse yet, bad). There are two (and usually more!) sides to every issue under the sun; my views have evolved and changed as my life experiences have grown and my sense of humility as well.

3) Assume Good Intentions. It is easy to let our fears color our responses but always make the most respectful possible interpretation of the other person’s views. See Hanlon’s Razor: “Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.”

4) Emphasize Things Held in Common: Acknowledge where you agree, share what you’ve learned from them.

5) Do not be afraid to show your humanity or your vulnerability: Humbly embrace uncertainty i.e. not all is known, more will be known in the future, perhaps your position will be impacted. The truly strong know they are fallible, only the weak put on a pretense of perfection. “Only fools are certain.” – V.E. Schwab.

Closing Quotes:

“Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice.” – Goethe, The Sorrows of Young Werther (1774)

“Let your aim be to come at truth, not to conquer your opponent.” – Arthur Martine, 1866, guide to the art of conversation

“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue.” – Rainer Maria Rilke, 1875–1926

As always, I share what I most want and need to learn. – Nathan S. Collier

No Excuses Happiness

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What are your criteria to be happy? Everything in your life going the way you want? Never going to happen or if it does, don’t count on it staying that way for long!

What if happiness was a choice? Not something reliant upon conditions around you but something independent, a condition, a frame of mind that you selected? Whatever the challenge, a positive mindset will for sure serve you better than a negative one!

What if it did not take anything (external) at all for you to be happy? What if you were just happy? Happy for no reason at all other than you just decided one day, one delightful, revolutionary moment, to be happy? Happy just because you wanted to be? Happiness from the inside out, not dependent upon anything in the outside world being a certain way?

Think about it: Can we control, modify, and direct our emotions? Harness our thoughts and frames and the resulting moods and emotions to serve us better? Perhaps happiness, contentment, peace of mind are choices? Does a sense of wonder and freedom wash over you as you release that you can indeed choose differently? Choose better?

Closing Quotes:

“…for I have learned, in whatever state I am in, therewith to be content.” – Philippians 4:11 KJV, Apostle Paul

“Most folks are about as happy as they make up their mind to be.” – Abraham Lincoln, 1809-1865, 16th President, 6’4”

“Positive thinking will let you do everything better than negative thinking will.” – Zig Ziglar, 1926-2012

As always, I share what I most want and need to learn. – Nathan S. Collier

 

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