"The Man, The Mission, The Passion" Husband, Father, Attorney, CPA, Steward Leader, Entrepreneur, MBA, Author, Builder, HBS OPM 25 Class, Mentor, Teacher

Metta

mettaprayer

Have you ever longed for “peace of mind”? For quiet contentment? To still the monkey chatter in your mind, to quiet your internal critic or at least morph it into a cheerleader/positive coach? Ever wanted to see a more peaceful world, escape the treadmill of drama that can so easily hijack our attention?

Metta! Try it! Metta translates as “Loving Kindness” and refers to an attitude toward life. “Metta evokes within a warm-hearted feeling of fellowship, sympathy and love, which grows boundless with practice and overcomes all social, religious, racial, political and economic barriers. Through Metta one refuses to be offensive and renounces bitterness, resentment and animosity of every kind, developing instead a mind of friendliness, accommodativeness and benevolence which seeks the well-being and happiness of others.”

Much of our internal discord comes from our world view and in many ways we create our reality by the things we choose to pay attention to, the thoughts we invite into our minds, and the emotions that result. Metta is a way of thinking, of directing our energy and attention and thus our mental state or attitude, cultivated and maintained by the deliberate, focused practice of monitoring our thoughts by ever growing self-awareness.

Closing Quotes:

“My religion is kindness.” – Dali Lama

“I am responsible for the world I see.” – A Course in Miracles

“Whatever we are waiting for – peace of mind, contentment, grace, inner awareness – it will surely come to us, but only when we are ready to receive it with an open and grateful heart.” – Sarah Ban Breathnac

“When I am able to resist the temptation to judge others, I can see them as teachers, reminding me that I can only have peace of mind when I forgive rather than judge.” – Gerald Jampolsky

“When you’ve seen beyond yourself, then you may find, peace of mind is waiting there.” – George Harrison

“Work and live to serve others, to leave the world a little better than you found it and garner for yourself as much peace of mind as you can. This is happiness.” – David Sarnoff 1891-1971

As always, I share what I most want and need to learn. – Nathan S. Collier

 

The Art of Swordlessness

swordlessness

“If you have attained mastery of swordlessness, you will never lack for a sword. The opponent’s sword is your sword.” – Yagyū Munenori, 1571 – May 11, 1646

Often the application of power is not the solution to our problems nor displays of strength and prowess the proper path to what we seek. When I was young I tried very hard to appear better than I was, reasoning that folks would like me less if they knew all my faults. While I’m all for improving oneself, the unfortunate result of my youthful awkward attempts at perfection was that I ended up hiding the real me and not letting others in close. Later in life, I learned the value of laying down my sword (intended only for righteous self-defense but all too often scaring others away) and doffing my armor as well and becoming comfortable in my flawed humanity, with where I was in my spiritual journey, putting my faith in the resilience of my spirit rather than in the thickness of my emotional walls.

To he who has a hammer (power), everything tends to be seen as a nail and if the hammer does not work, all too often the “solution” is “What we need here is a bigger hammer.”

I am not advocating naïve trust nor that the lamb lie down with the lion; I am saying begin softly and in good faith, assume good intent, extend trust and an open hand whenever possible, seek first to understand then to be understood, focus on removing restraining forces before you attempt to increase driving forces.

Closing Quotes:

“A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still.” – Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends & Influence People

“Put your sword back in its place,” Jesus said to him, “for all who draw the sword will die by the sword.” – Matthew 26:52

“The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy, instead of diminishing evil, it multiplies it. Through violence you may murder the liar, but you cannot murder the lie, nor establish the truth. Through violence you may murder the hater, but you do not murder hate. In fact, violence merely increases hate. Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” – Martin Luther King Jr.  Where Do We Go from Here: Chaos or Community? (p. 67)

As always, I share what I most want and need to learn. – Nathan S. Collier

What would you tell your 30 year old self today?

A-letter-to-my-younger-self

Morning Mr. Collier; I hope all is well with you. When you get a moment would you mind answering a question?

What would you tell your 30 year old self today?

Well, first I’d have to ask myself what I’d be open to hearing/learning. I was/am a pretty stubborn guy but more importantly, learning often happens in layers or in levels that build on each other. If the teacher appears before the student is ready then much can be lost in the translation.

While I’m sure I’d have lots of practical advice on specific situations as they arose, generalized wisdom often comes across as generic, bland, or obvious. Dear Abby’s advice is generally common sense, folks just need to hear it, to have their gut instinct reinforced, to get validated. The benefit of a mentor is often just being a sounding board, someone to talk things out with; positive reinforcement, a steadying, comforting presence.

I think I’d be a good EQ coach, help build the team, have a lot of good insights re personnel issues, see emerging problems, encourage myself to deal with them sooner. Also, I had no mentors, I had no real idea where it was going, just doing what was in front of me. Knowing what was possible, having scouted the territory, I’d encourage myself on a more direct path; larger, newer communities sooner. I’m assuming that I’m not coming back with a crystal ball (don’t start construction, the Great Recession is coming!)

I did once burn myself out with too many years of 80 hour weeks (and, no, I’m not exaggerating in the least) and it took a few years to recover i.e. overall, I lost time trying to make time!

As always, I share what I most want and need to learn. – Nathan S. Collier

 

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