"The Man, The Mission, The Passion" Husband, Father, Attorney, CPA, Steward Leader, Entrepreneur, MBA, Author, Builder, HBS OPM 25 Class, Mentor, Teacher

Do You Suffer From Atelophobia?

braver-stronger-smarter

Atelophobia is the fear of imperfection, the fear of never being good enough and is kin to perfectionism, the obsessive compulsive striving to achieve impossible goals, the feeling that achieving anything less than perfect is failure. Perfectionism has its plus and its minus. Constrained and directed, adaptive perfectionism can be a positive, a burning desire to achieve that motivates one to great effort. In its maladaptive form, perfectionism can lead to harsh, excessive self-criticism and even depression when failure inevitably occurs.

Whether it is fear of failure or fear of not being good enough the great truth of life is that if perfect is the standard, then NONE of us are ever good enough or ever fully up to the task and yet it all works out somehow in the end. Hard work and intelligent persistence usually prevail and are a lot more at hand than perfection!

Closing Quotes:

“You don’t have to be perfect to be perfectly okay.” – NSC

“If you are insecure, guess what? The rest of the world is, too. Do not overestimate the competition and underestimate yourself. You are better than you think.” – T. Harv Eker, b. 1954, Secrets of the Millionaire Mind

“True superiority complexes are rare, generally only an over compensated inferiority complex i.e. bluster covering fears of inadequacy.”
– NSC

As always, I share what I most want/need to learn. – Nathan S. Collier

Gesinnungsethik or Verantwortungsethik; Which are You?

right-wrong

Gesinnungsethik and Verantwortungsethik are household words in Germany and they relate to the moral tension between idealism and pragmatism. Gesinnungsethik refers to the “ethic of conviction” and Verantwortungsethik to the “ethic of responsibility”. Are we fully responsible for the consequences of our actions (Verantwortungsethik or the ethic of responsibility)? Or is it enough to act with good intentions and a pure heart regardless of the outcome (Gesinnungsethik or the ethic of conviction”)?

Most would say it’s okay to lie when the Nazi’s come knocking, i.e. it’s okay to do wrong in order to do good. The trouble is that one has just stepped on a slippery slope of moral relativism where it is all too easy to justify abandoning vital principles, rationalizing (rational – lies) away the very standards of integrity and conscience that are the foundation of civilization. Perhaps it’s only okay to do a SMALL wrong in order to do MUCH greater good? With great certainty regarding the probability of that greater good actually occurring? And humility around the possibility of unintended consequences? Including the challenge of restoring the moral code?

It is important to differentiate clearly between Red Rules and Blue Rules. Red Rule: Malum in se; wrong because it is inherently wrong (Thou shalt not kill) v. Blue Rule: Malum prohibitum; wrong simply because it is prohibited by the legislature i.e. speed limits.

This blog inspired by:

http://www.economist.com/news/europe/21707959-why-many-germans-think-impractical-idealism-immoral-tale-two-ethics

Excerpt:  THE phrases “ethic of conviction” and “ethic of responsibility” mean little to most English-speakers. In Germany the equivalent terms—Gesinnungsethik and Verantwortungsethik—are household words . . . [Sociologist Max] Weber described an “abysmal opposition” between two types of ethics. Those following their convictions wish to preserve their own moral purity, no matter what consequences their policies may have in the real world. “If an action of good intent leads to bad results, then, in the actor’s eyes, not he but the world, or the stupidity of other men, or God’s will who made them thus, is responsible for the evil.” By contrast, someone guided by responsibility “takes account of precisely the average deficiencies of people…(H)e does not even have the right to presuppose their goodness and perfection.” This sort of politician will answer for all the consequences of his actions, even unintended ones. Weber left no doubt about his sympathies. Ethicists of conviction, he said, were “in nine out of ten cases windbags”.

As always, I share what I most want/need to learn. – Nathan S. Collier

 

Five Steps to Dissolve Limiting Beliefs

henry-ford-whether-you-think-you-can

Our beliefs about what is possible limit our lives for we never attempt that which we do not believe we can do or that we do not believe has a good chance of success.

– Identify a limiting belief that you wish to change.

– Pick a counter belief you would like to have instead.

– Think through how the belief came into existence, why you hold that belief, why you think it is true.

– Re-frame your limiting belief and/or come up with alternate explanations for the “facts” that support limiting belief. Create an internal vision of the new you acting in new ways.

– Gather evidence to support your new empowering belief, take small steps toward your new belief, celebrate micro victories, re-calibrate as necessary, and then build, build, build.

See yourself in your mind’s eye acting, living in new empowering ways, enjoining the fruits and benefits of this new found ability. Hold the vision steadfast in the forefront of your mind, dwell on it, cherish it. Resolve to be your own best friend, your own coach extraordinaire, your own cheerleader. Your potential is the Universe’s gift to you, what you do with it is your gift back; to give anything less than your best is to sacrifice your gift.

Closing Quotes:

“Don’t Turn Excuses into an Identity: Be careful of how you label yourself: “I’m a fearful person” or “I’m weak” or “I’m not a strong person.” – Anthony Robbins

“If you accept a limiting belief then it will become a truth for you.” – Louise Hay

Limiting Beliefs That Set the Course of Your Life

1. If you don’t believe the impossible can happen, then you are right.
2. When you feel like you are less than others, then you are right.
3. When you believe what you have and how you were raised keeps you from having everything you ever dreamed of, you are right.
4. When you believe your mistakes can’t be undone, you are right.
5. When you feel this is the best it is going to get, you are right.
6. “When you think someone will never change or rise above their brokenness, you are WRONG!” ― Shannon L. Alder

As always, I share what I most want/need to learn. – Nathan S. Collier

 

A BLOG ON PERSONAL LEADERSHIP BY THE FOUNDER OF THE COLLIER COMPANIES
LARGEST PRIVATE PROVIDER OF STUDENT HOUSING