As a consequence of this lack of self-knowledge, we frequently make bad decisions or choose less than optimum goals. Think of it: In the choice of a life partner, in marriage, one of the most important of life’s decisions, almost half of us make such bad decisions that we end up going through the painful process of divorce. Why are we not better decision makers?

The short answer is simply we do not put enough systemic effort into become better decision makers. Oh, we may agonize over our choices but rarely do we apply our best selves to developing a better process.

How to become an expert at wantology:

1. Write out your goals (strive for several for each of your major roles in life: Work/Career, Personal, Family/Friends, Mental/Education, Health/Physical, Community/Spiritual/Charitable)

2. Think deeply about the WHY of each goal. How will you feel differently after you achieve that goal? What other things make you feel that way?

3. Analyze past goals and achievements: Did you get what you wanted? All of it? Some of it? What worked, what didn’t? Was it worth it? Was it aligned with your true self?

4. Be wary of reflexive or programmed goals; achievement ideals you may have unconsciously picked up from others, peers, parents or advertising, movies, may be so deeply ingrained you haven’t really thought them through, recognized them as imprinted from the outside and not welling up from deep inside you.

5. Start a journal. Write. Create a narrative or outline of goals that worked, that motivated you, excited you, energized you. Understand the why! And just as important, think and write about the goals that did not work. Understand them just as deeply. Journals are terrific for feedback and perspective. It is okay for goals to evolve, morph, change as you grow and learn.

6. Create action plans for all your goals. Include targets, deadlines, and accountability checkpoints. These should be immediate (what can I do today?), medium-, and long-term goals.

7. Don’t worry, none of this will be crystal clear the first time. It is a PROCESS, and an iterative one at that. There are no right answers, just progress. Plateaus and set backs are normal. The best way to sabotage yourself is to get too worked up about it. Understand this, accept it at a deep level. The most successful of us continue this throughout a lifetime, reaching deeper understandings, and with it, a better life.

Closing quotes:

“An average person with average talent, ambition and education, can outstrip the most brilliant genius in our society, if that person has clear, focused goals.” — Brian Tracy
“By recording your dreams and goals on paper, you set in motion the process of becoming the person you most want to be.” — Mark Victor Hansen

“We all need lots of powerful long-range goals to help us past the short-term obstacles.” — Jim Rohn

While 20 minutes a day of walking or using the stairs at work will not make you truly fit, it will meaningfully lower your risk of premature death from the most common chronic diseases: diabetes, heart disease, cancer. Twenty minutes a day of movement, of mild exercise may not make you skinny but it will give you a longer, healthier life. Heck, even standing up every hour at work (or off the couch at home) and moving around a bit contributes to a better life. Humans are “born to stroll,” to move regularly, not to sit for 8 hours a day.

A big misconception about exercise is that we must sweat it out to get any benefits. Yes, that is probably best, but the message here is that there are major benefits to be gained simply by just getting out and moving briskly.

You don’t have to break a sweat to get breakthrough benefits, physical and mental. So, NO EXCUSES: Get a move on!

Closing quotes:

“Physical fitness is not only one of the most important keys to a healthy body; it is the basis of dynamic and creative intellectual activity.”  — U.S. President John F. Kennedy

“Those who do not find time for exercise will have to find time for illness.”  — Earl of Derby

“It is remarkable how one’s wits are sharpened by physical exercise.”  — Pliny the Younger

Great companies keep it simple and have 3 key virtues:

1) A highly-distinctive core business

2) Working hard to keep their business model simple

3) Relentlessly applying their business model to new opportunities

In essence, “Simplify and Repeat, Simplify and Repeat” (The Economist, April 28, 2012, Schumpeter).

Apply the same management philosophy to new businesses, to new markets, to new customers. Obsession with simplicity is a necessary counter to the natural tendency of businesses and systems toward complexity as growth occurs. Zook and Allen call complexity the “silent killer” of the modern world.

Stick to a few themes, return to them over and over again. Companies need to have “non-negotiable” business practices to ensure that their business model is repeated, such as McDonalds insisting all employees start in the kitchen or at the cash register. Real estate developer Trammell Crow used to insist that all its new executive hires, including newly-minted Ivy League MBAs, start out by leasing office or retail space. If you don’t know what will lease, if you don’t have a visceral understanding of what the customer will buy (and what the customer WON’T buy) you have no business developing real estate.

All successful companies have certain kernels of value; some secret sauce that differentiates them, allows them to create value. It is easy to drift away from your core, to lose sight of the essence of your success.

NOTE: Some direct quotes from Schumpeter’s article in the April 28, 2012, edition of The Economist.

Fuerte en la cabeza

Mental toughness also includes standing guard at the portals of your mind; making sure that the thoughts, ideas, and emotions that you choose to entertain serve you, advance you toward your life goals. There are things in life beyond our control but our response is always in our control. Those who are fuerte en la cabeza always choose to respond effectively.

“Stepping stone or stumbling block” is often merely a matter of perception and response.

Closing quote:

“As a child, you are not responsible for any dysfunctional programing you may pick up. As an adult, however, you are responsible for the choice to keep it.”

Why the shortfall between words, actions, and outcomes?

Assuming good faith, a major reason is that people often “pre-fail.” Pre-fail is when people set themselves up to deliver less than their best, less than what is desired or necessary.

Pre-fail is “I’ll try” vs. “I will.” Pre-fail is “It is no excuse but (insert excuse here).”

We fail at 100% of what we think we cannot do. Success is “I will succeed.” Period. No ifs, ands, or buts. If there is an “or” it is “or I will die trying.”

Listen to the actor Will Smith talk about his work ethic. Over and over again he uses the phrase “or I will die trying.” Smith says, “You and I step onto treadmills; I will not step off first. I may die trying but I will NOT step off first.”

Argue for your weakness and it is yours. Think you can, think you can’t, you’re right!

Closing quotes:

“Much good work is lost for the lack of a little more.” — Edward H. Harriman

“The difference between try and triumph is a little umph.” — Unknown

“When I was young, I observed that nine out of ten things I did were failures. So I did ten times more work.” — George Bernard Shaw

The implication is that errors are just part of life and we (particularly me) need to just learn to accept it and stop getting so worked up about it.

Disagree. Strongly.

First, there is ALWAYS a better way, but we rarely find it unless we care enough to search for it.

Second, the manager (if the word even fits) who tolerates errors always gets more. Spoken or unspoken, the message of low standards and mediocre expectations gets out.

Such magical thinking, as irrational as it is, can produce an illusion of control, induce a sense of calm in a stressful situation. This can powerfully impact our self-confidence which, in turn, may meaningfully impact our performance.

While we should never indulge in dangerous delusions (I can fly!), some minor irrational thinking has been shown to improve performance. For example, customers at a miniature golf course given a ball that they were told was a specially-treated, lucky hole-in-wall ball, shot 30% better than a control group.

In life and in sports, believing you can win is no guarantee of winning, but it is a pretty sure fire guarantee of better performance. On the downside, believing you will lose is pretty much its own guarantee.

Closing quote:

“I told myself I was the best long before I ever was.” — Mohammed Ali

Winners, champions, achievers all know they MUST push beyond what is expected, beyond current norms, beyond the ordinary. The fullness, the richness of life lies beyond the routine, the far side of the habitual.

Closing quotes:

“Push, push, push and you will see results” — Peter Drucker, 1909-2005, author of 39 books on business and management, coined the now widely-used phrase knowledge worker.

“We are limited but we can push back the borders of our limitations.” — Stephen R. Covey

“Push yourself again and again. Don’t give an inch until the final buzzer sounds.” — NBA All Star Larry Bird; 1956– , 3-time NBA Champion (1981, 1984, 1986), 3-time NBA Most Valuable Player (1984–1986), 12-time NBA All-Star (1980–1988, 1990–1992), 2-time NBA Finals MVP (1984, 1986), 9-time All-NBA First Team (1980–1988)

1) At the END of every day, write down three good things that happened to you that day. Do this just before you go to sleep, dwell on each briefly, appreciate them. (Can’t think of three good things? Think of three things that you could have thought about differently, interpreted in a new positive way, looked at from a different, kinder, gentler perspective.)

2) At the START of every day, think of three nice things you will do for three people that day. Your three things can be genuine compliments, moments of sincere and specific praise, gestures of appreciation, acts of courtesy. Let someone in ahead of you in traffic, let the lady with the baby ahead of you in line, tell your boss how a co-worker did a great job.

Closing quotes:

“I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.” — G.K. Chesterton

“We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.” — Thornton Wilder

“As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.” — President John F. Kennedy

Credence goods are products and services, such as vitamins or frequent oil changes, whose value can never really be known with certainty. To a large degree, the value of a credence good is often a matter of faith or belief. Maybe it worked, maybe it didn’t. Hard to know, hard to be sure. Maybe it prevented a bad thing from happening, maybe it wouldn’t have happened anyway.

A search good is any product whose quality is readily observable prior to purchase. A single product may comprise elements of all three: the wear on the tires of a used car may be evident (search good) while the quality of the engine may be much more difficult to ascertain, requiring you to rely upon the reputation of the manufacturer or prior owner (credence good).

Both experience goods and credence goods tend to experience less price competition due to the fear that a low price may indicate unobservable problems or a lack of quality.

Closing quotes:

“Caveat emptor: Let the buyer beware.” — Proverb

“Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like.” — Will Rogers

“Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping.” — Bo Derek

This is not Pollyanna thinking, this is a serious key to life. If you do not like what you do, then find something you do like or learn to love what you do. Life is too wonderful to give anything but your best and you will never be happy sacrificing your gifts.

- Work with people you like and respect, and you will look forward to every day.
- Do what you love and you will never work a day in your life.

Closing quotes:

“A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and gets to bed at night, and in between he does what he wants to do.” — Bob Dylan

“Do your work with your whole heart and you will succeed—there’s so little competition.” — Elbert Hubbard

“I played for fun for 9 straight years. We just happened to win championships.” — Michael Jordan

“I love to work. Work for me is pleasure, happiness. So I work 90% of the time and sleep the rest. I don’t go on vacation. That is not what gives me pleasure. Work gives me pleasure.” — Eve Ensler, award-winning playwright of the “The Vagina Monologues”

This control is called “the quiet eye”: when your gaze, still and calm, remains on the ball just before the stroke and as it is performed. This ability to quiet your mind and thus your eye, to totally focus and absolutely concentrate, creates a powerful mind/body connection.

The ability to quiet the mind, to steady the thoughts, to calm the emotions is a talent that can serve well in many of life’s situations.

How to cultivate a quiet mind? Meditation is one answer and many excellent books have been written on how to mediate.

Personally, being a bit on the hyperactive side myself, I practice what I call “Moving Meditation.” I play racquetball frequently—okay, 4 to 5 times a week. When I enter the court, my goal is leave the outside world behind, to think of nothing outside those four walls. Beyond that, I want to think only of the point at hand. If I win that point and the next and the one beyond that, then the game and match will take care of themselves. Even more than the point, I just continue focusing on the stroke at hand, the next play of the ball.

The ability to keep my thoughts inside the court is a powerful one, a form of self discipline and mind training that I believe carries over into other parts of my life as well.

Closing quote:

“For every disciplined effort, there are multiple rewards.” – Jim Rohn, author

Let others save face; practice giving encouragement rather than argument. Save the debating skills for another day. Riding roughshod over the opinions, feelings, thoughts, and emotions of others is the occupation of fools.

Practice CPA2: Celebrate, Praise, Acknowledge, and Appreciate. You will be pleasantly surprised by the joy and happiness you will be able to create and share.

Closing quotes:

“You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.”

“A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still.”

“Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute.” — Josh Billings; 1818-1885

“I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don’t even invite me.” — Dave Barry; 1947-

The Reverse Peter Principle states that organizations should strive to stay as flat as possible and every manager should stay as close to the front line and DO as much as possible.

The best people understand their jobs, the meaning and underlying purpose of their tasks and only need to be pointed in the right direction, apprised of available resources, given guidelines, goals, targets, deadlines, and intermediate check in points. People who are doing what they love and understand need relatively little management.

When an organization’s best people spend too much time managing and not enough time DOING, then it may be time to spend more effort on raising the performance bar in other ways: recruiting at a higher level and providing better, more-focused training.

Closing quotes:

“If you can’t change the people, change the people.” — Jack Welch

NOTE: I’m indebted to Tracy Dolgin, CEO of YES cable sports network, for the Reverse Peter Principle concept.

The solution lies in
1. Developing an awareness of the complexity of the challenge, and
2. Studying bad outcomes to learn how to do better.

Here are two examples of good intentions gone awry:

Example #1: Management tool or straight jacket? “States Try to Fix Quirks in Teacher Evaluations,” The New York Times, February 19, 2012.

“Steve Ball, executive principal [at a school] in Nashville, arrived at an English class unannounced one day this month and spent 60 minutes taking copious notes as he watched the teacher introduce and explain the concept of irony. ‘It was a good lesson,’ Mr. Ball said.

“But under Tennessee’s new teacher-evaluation system, which is similar to systems being adopted around the country, Mr. Ball said he had to give the teacher a one—the lowest rating on a five-point scale—in one of 12 categories: breaking students into groups. Even though Mr. Ball had seen the same teacher, a successful veteran he declined to identify, group students effectively on other occasions, he felt that he had no choice but to follow the strict guidelines of the state’s complicated rubric.

“‘It’s not an accurate reflection of her as a teacher,’ Mr. Ball said.”

Analysis:

Will the teacher feel her evaluation was fair?

Will principals feel good about their roles?

What is the likely outcome? What is the likely impact on the teachers’ trust levels? Motivation?

Why are the guidelines so strict?

Could it be because of fears based upon past experience of favoritism, or past scores being gamed in order to make administrators look good?

What is your solution? Remember that whatever solution you design has to be applicable to tens of thousands of school districts and applied by an even greater number of evaluators, each of whom has an individual personality, world view, personal standard of ethics, and no doubt a unique perspective on evaluating your instructions and any latitude therein.

Example #2: Management tool? Or simplistic box checking?

“Bronx Police Precinct Accused of Using Quota System,” The New York Times, February 23, 2012.

A lawsuit contends that a police station house in the Bronx has a strict quota system that requires officers to produce a minimum number of arrests, summonses and street stops each month. So regimented are the demands for numbers that supervisors in the 42nd Precinct began keeping color-coded charts to track officers’ productivity, according to the lawsuit.

Black ink means an officer is meeting quotas, silver ink means that only some of the quotas are being met, red ink denotes officers meeting no quotas at all.

Allegedly, the quota system has created animosity among officers at the station house: “An officer has been posted at the locker room to keep officers who oppose the system from damaging the lockers of those who hew to it.” NYPD has consistently denied the existence of a quota but has said supervisors can establish minimum productivity goals for officers. NYPD states color codes “did not represent a quota system but were an
indicator of enforcement activity in three areas—arrests, criminal summonses and stops for suspicious activity, used to measure police productivity.”

Analysis:

Is there really any meaningful difference between “minimum productivity goals” and quotas?

What are the desired outcomes? Will the inputs yield the desired outcomes?

What is your policing paradigm? Command and control or community outreach? SWAT Team vs. Andy of Mayberry?

How would you design a system to evaluate police officers? Reward/promote the best, coach the middle, remove the unqualified?

What are the possible unintended consequences of your system?